the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
