I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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