remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize