Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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