I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
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I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.