And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
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I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today