i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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