I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So apparently I’m into choking now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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