it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
