so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize