What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
