It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
