I bet he comes in French.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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