I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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