i already hear my dad disowning me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
