Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize