It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
