went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize