Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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