woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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