We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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