Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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