Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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