Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize