You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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