I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize