you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor