well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.