He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.