in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
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I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...