Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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