if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
