Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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