Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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