Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
