One girl and one boy is just not enough.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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