I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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