You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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