i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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