In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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