Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
