Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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