I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
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Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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