If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
