so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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