He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
