I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
