i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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