Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hippo gnu deer
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
