Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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