Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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