she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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