she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
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someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?