She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
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I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding