Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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